I Was Taught Copying Was Bad. But That’s What Kept Me Average

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April 26, 2025 | FJ ANGELES

I don’t know exactly when it started, but I remember the feeling.

That quiet panic whenever my eyes wandered during a test. That heavy guilt after I asked a friend how they solved a problem I didn’t understand. That sharp voice in my head—sometimes a teacher’s voice, sometimes my own—saying:

“Don’t copy. That’s cheating.”

It was drilled into me early. Copying was wrong. Copying meant I didn’t try. Copying meant I didn’t know enough. It meant I failed.

And even though I’ve long since left that classroom behind, I realized recently… that rule followed me. Not just in my work, or in how I create, but in how I live.

That rule—the idea that copying is bad—started shaping something much deeper than I thought.
It shaped how I approached success.
It shaped how I saw others.
And most painfully, it shaped how I saw myself.

School Taught Me That Copying Equals Cheating

Maybe you’ve heard the same thing.

In school, copying meant you were doing something wrong. It wasn’t just frowned upon—it was punished. Copying someone’s homework? Dishonest. Copying someone’s style? Unoriginal. Copying someone’s answer? You’d get a zero.

And sure, in the context of school, maybe there’s a reason for that. We’re being measured individually. The system needs to track who’s “good” or “smart” or “ready.” So when you copy, it messes with that system.

But that narrow context—the one built on grades, tests, and performance—became a program.
A belief system.
A deep-rooted emotional association.

And that belief didn’t stay in school.

It followed me into adulthood, disguised as integrity. It disguised itself as originality. As the pursuit of uniqueness. But what it really did was trap me in the fear of imitation.

“Be Original” Sounded Right—Until It Didn’t

I wanted to be unique. I thought I had to be.
I wanted my ideas to be my own. My path. My brand. My identity.

But what no one tells you is that you can’t be original without copying first.
There is no "you" without some reflection of "them."

Every artist starts by tracing.
Every writer starts by mimicking someone’s tone.
Every athlete copies a move they saw on TV.
Every entrepreneur starts by modeling someone who already made it.

But when you believe copying is bad, you miss the first step.
You keep trying to skip ahead to “your version” before you’ve even mastered the foundation.

That’s what I did. And it kept me stuck.
I kept searching for a path that was mine—while secretly avoiding every path that looked like someone else’s.

I didn’t realize that every real path begins with someone else’s footsteps.

The Programming Runs Deep

It took years before I noticed what was really going on.

That my hesitation to ask for help…
That my guilt when studying someone’s process…
That my need to reinvent the wheel every time…

…wasn’t because I wanted to grow.
It was because I was still trying not to “cheat.”

I was still under the spell of a belief that served school—but sabotaged real life.

And the strangest part? Everyone around me was copying.

But they weren’t doing it intentionally. They weren’t choosing who or what they copied. They were just absorbing. Reflecting whatever was around them. Mimicking without even realizing it.

People copy their parents. Their peers. Their coworkers.
People copy dysfunction. They copy fear.
They copy rebellion. They copy mediocrity.
Not because they want to—but because they never learned how to copy with awareness.

So while everyone’s walking around copying something, the only ones punished are the ones who try to copy with intention. Because we were taught that trying to copy… is wrong.

But I don’t buy that anymore.

It’s Not Just About Copying—It’s About Choosing

What if we were taught differently?

What if we were told: “You can copy—but copy wisely. Copy with vision. Copy to learn. Copy to grow.”

What if copying wasn’t framed as a threat to originality, but the very thing that helps us find it?

Because that’s the part school didn’t teach us. That the people we admire? The ones we look up to? They copied, too.

They just didn’t stay there.

They started by walking someone else’s path—and somewhere along the way, they found their own stride.

And now, they’re the ones being copied. Not because they were born different, but because they weren’t afraid to imitate first.

You’re Allowed to Start by Copying

So if you’re like me—if this belief still lingers in your head, if it makes you second-guess yourself, if it makes you feel “less than” when you admire someone else too much—let me say this clearly:

You’re allowed to copy.

You’re allowed to model someone.
You’re allowed to study their moves.
You’re allowed to walk like them until you figure out how you want to walk.

This isn’t about being a clone.
It’s about being humble enough to learn.
And brave enough to start somewhere.

Why Copying is the Foundation of Mastery

There’s a quiet truth that most people overlook:

Mastery begins with mimicry.

We don’t like to say it out loud. We want to believe the best are born with it. That they just knew how to do it from the start. That their greatness is innate, original, untouched.

But that’s not how mastery works.

Not in art. Not in business. Not in music, writing, leadership, or life.

The truth is, every master was once a shadow.

They started by copying. They learned the rhythm, the flow, the form. They studied someone better than them. And for a while, they weren’t original. They weren’t unique. They were just trying to do it like the people they admired.

And that wasn’t a flaw.

That was the foundation.

Everything We Learn. We Copy First

Think about it.

You didn’t invent language. You copied it.
You didn’t invent how to walk. You copied it.
You didn’t invent how to show emotion, how to solve problems, or how to survive. You copied all of that, too.

You observed. You mimicked. You experimented.

And slowly, what was once “someone else’s way” became your way.

So why do we think mastery should be any different?

Why do we assume that greatness is supposed to be invented from thin air?

It isn’t.
And believing that it should be is why so many people stay stuck.

They sit there, trying to be original from the beginning—while the ones who grow the fastest are the ones who have the humility to copy first.

The Best in the World Are Still Copying

Here’s the twist that made everything click for me:

Even the greats are still copying.

They’re just doing it more consciously.

The greatest writers? They read obsessively. They study sentence structure, tone, rhythm, and story.
The greatest athletes? They review footage, break down techniques, and borrow strategies from others.
The greatest entrepreneurs? They model successful frameworks, campaigns, and content—and they build on it.

They’re not afraid to copy.
They’re afraid of stagnation.
They know that copying is a tool—and how you use it determines whether it sharpens your edge or dulls it.

Copying Is Not Stealing. It’s Studying.

Let’s clear something up.

There’s a difference between stealing and studying.
Between taking without understanding and copying to learn.

Stealing is lazy. It’s hollow. It skips the process and pretends to own something it didn’t earn.
Copying with intention is different. It’s a process of respect, absorption, and transformation.

When I say “copy,” I don’t mean ctrl+C, ctrl+V someone’s identity.

I mean:

• Study how they speak.

• Study how they think.

• Study how they structure.

• Study how they move.

• Study how they solve.

Then imitate.
Then practice.
Then evolve.

That’s how learning works. That’s how skill is built. That’s how mastery is forged.

From Copying to Creating

Eventually, something beautiful happens.

You stop copying… without even realizing it.

You’ve studied their moves so well that your body begins to move differently.
You’ve practiced their words so deeply that your voice begins to emerge.
You’ve walked their path long enough that you start making turns they never made.

That’s when copying turns into creating.

You don’t need to force originality. You don’t need to obsess over being different.

You just need to immerse.
To learn by doing.
To practice by imitating—until your soul has something new to say.

And trust me… it will.

You’re Not Faking It—You’re Forming It

If you’re worried that copying makes you fake… you’re not alone.

I used to feel that, too.

But here’s what I learned: You’re not faking it. You’re forming it.

You’re not a fraud. You’re an apprentice.
You’re doing what every great mind before you has done.

The only difference?

They copied with intention.
They didn’t wait to be original.
They allowed themselves to learn like children—without ego, without shame.

And that’s why they outgrew the ones who were too proud to start there.

The Danger of Unconscious Copying

For most of my life, I didn’t think I was copying anyone.

I thought I was making my own choices, living by my own values, deciding my own future.
But when I really sat with it — stripped away the pride, the noise, the justifications — I realized something uncomfortable:

I was copying. All along. I just wasn’t aware of it.

And that's when it hit me:
The real danger isn't copying.
The real danger is copying without knowing who or what you’re copying.

Most People Are Copying Someone—They Just Don’t Realize It

From the way we talk, to the clothes we wear, to the things we dream about achieving — much of it comes from silent influences we've absorbed over time.

Not through conscious choice.
But through osmosis.

Think about it.
We grow up mimicking our parents' behaviors, our friends' beliefs, our teachers' expectations, and the media’s definitions of success, beauty, happiness.

We pick up:

• How to react under stress

• What to think about money

• How relationships "should" look

• What’s considered "normal" or "acceptable"

And unless we stop to question it, we just… keep copying.

Blindly.
Automatically.
Believing it's ours.

I started to wonder:
Whose life am I actually building? Mine? Or a stitched-together version of everything I've seen?

We Often End Up Copying Dysfunction Instead of Success

Here’s the part that really stings:

If you don’t choose who you model, the world chooses for you.

And the world doesn’t exactly hand-pick the best examples.

• You see people glorify shortcuts, so you start believing success should be fast.

• You see people normalize unhealthy habits, so you start tolerating them in yourself.

• You see people settle for safe, shallow lives, so you start thinking "maybe this is just how it is."

Without realizing it, you start copying:

• Fear instead of courage

• Instant gratification instead of discipline

• Surface-level approval instead of deep fulfillment

And it’s not because you’re stupid.
Or lazy.
Or broken.

It’s because no one ever taught you to look carefully at what you’re copying.

They just taught you: “Copying is bad.”
So you assumed you were fine—as long as you weren’t “cheating.”

But meanwhile, you were still copying.
Everyone was.
You just weren’t conscious of it.

"Everyone’s Doing It" — How Unaware Copying Leads to Rebellion and Shortcuts

There’s another twist in this story.

When people do notice copying happening around them, but without understanding it deeply, it leads to two dangerous reactions:

1. Rebellion
2. Shortcuts

Rebellion looks like this:

• “If everyone’s stuck, then I’ll just be different for the sake of being different.”

• “I won’t follow anyone’s example. I’ll figure it all out myself.”

• “I’ll reject the system entirely—even if I don't know what to build instead.”

It feels brave at first.
But often, it’s just reacting — not creating.
You’re still defining yourself in opposition to what you see, instead of from your own clear vision.

And shortcuts look like this:

• “Everyone's bending the rules a little. It must be fine.”

• “Why work hard when nobody else seems to?”

• “If others are getting ahead by faking it, why not me too?”

This is how copying without consciousness leads not only to mediocrity, but to ethical erosion.

Because when you don't have a clear model of what "good" looks like — you settle for what’s visible.
And often, what’s visible is loud, shallow, and broken.

Copying is Not the Problem.

Unconscious copying is.

Once I understood this, it changed everything.

The goal isn't to "never copy."
That’s impossible.
Humans are imitative creatures by nature.

The goal is to become ruthlessly conscious about what you’re copying—and why.

To look at your habits, your dreams, your beliefs, and ask:

• Who am I modeling here?

• Is this actually working for them?

• Do I want the life this model leads to?

• What will happen if I keep copying this example for the next 5, 10, 20 years?

Because the truth is, you’re already copying someone.

You just have to decide:

Is it someone who will bring out your highest self?
Or someone who will quietly lead you into a life you never truly wanted?

How I Started Copying on Purpose — and Grew

There’s a quiet kind of rock bottom you hit when you realize:

You’ve been following all the wrong people,
modeling all the wrong behaviors,
chasing all the wrong dreams —
and you didn’t even know it.

That realization doesn’t break you.
It humbles you.

And in that humility,
a question rises up like a whisper:

“If I’m going to copy…
why not copy on purpose?”

At First, I Didn’t Know Who to Copy

When I finally let go of the guilt of “being a copycat,”
I ran into a new problem:

Who’s actually worth copying?

It’s not as simple as picking the most successful person in the room.
There are a lot of rich people who are miserable.
A lot of famous people who are empty.
A lot of productive people who are burning out behind the scenes.

I didn’t just want surface-level results.

I wanted:

• Peace

• Purpose

• Depth

• And a life that felt like it was mine, not a borrowed costume

So I started paying attention differently.
I stopped idolizing appearances.
I stopped chasing numbers.

Instead, I began to ask deeper questions:

• Who lives with integrity, even when no one’s watching?

• Who makes hard choices that align with their values?

• Who seems internally free — not just externally impressive?

These people didn’t always look the flashiest.
But they had something I wanted.

And so, I chose them as my models.

I Started Copying Their Systems — Not Just Their Outcomes

There’s a big difference between copying someone’s results…
and copying the systems that led to those results.

Most people do the first.

They copy:

• Someone’s morning routine

• Their aesthetic

• Their branding

• Their lifestyle photos

• The exact content they make

But that kind of copying is shallow.
It’s only skin-deep.
And it’s rarely sustainable, because it’s not built on understanding.

What changed me wasn’t mimicking how someone looked successful.

It was studying:

• How they thought

• How they structured their days

• How they handled failure

• What they prioritized when no one was watching

I started copying behaviors like:

• Protecting my focus instead of chasing trends

• Keeping promises to myself

• Embracing boredom as a tool for clarity

• Saying no to opportunities that didn’t align

These weren’t flashy things.
But they were transformative.

And they taught me something important:

The right kind of copying doesn’t erase you.
It reveals you.

Copying the Right Way Made Me More Myself

This was the part I didn’t expect.

I used to think that copying meant I’d lose my originality —
that I’d blend into the background,
that I’d become a cheap imitation of someone else.

But what actually happened?

The more I consciously modeled the people I admired,
the more I began to feel like myself.

Not a version of me reacting to the world.
But a version of me built on values I chose.
Habits I practiced.
Standards I rose up to meet.

Copying the right way didn’t mute my voice.
It helped me find it.

Because when you study greatness deeply enough,
you stop asking, “How can I be like them?”
And you start asking,
“What does this awaken in me?”

We All Need Mentors — Even If They’re Silent Ones

I’ve never met most of the people who changed my life.

Some are authors.
Some are creators.
Some are thinkers I quietly follow from afar.

But they showed me what was possible.
And when I didn’t believe in myself,
I borrowed their belief systems.
Their mindsets.
Their frameworks.

Until I had built enough strength to stand on my own.

There’s no shame in that.
It’s how every craftsman, every master, every innovator begins.

They study the greats —
not to become a carbon copy,
but to become a clearer version of themselves.

And that’s what I did.

I didn’t follow them forever.
But I followed them long enough to remember that I’m capable of more —
not by trying harder,
but by choosing better models.

Copying with Intention is a Shortcut to Wisdom

We spend so much of our lives trying to reinvent the wheel.
Trying to figure everything out on our own.
Trying not to “cheat.”

But copying with clarity isn’t cheating.
It’s compressing decades of someone else’s experience
into the foundation of your own.

It’s humbling yourself enough to learn.
To observe.
To be shaped.

And when you choose the right people to learn from,
you don’t become their shadow.

You become their evolution.

Becoming Someone Worth Copying

At first, all you want is to find someone good enough to follow.

Someone whose path you can trust.
Someone whose steps feel safe enough to trace.
Someone whose life shines a light on what’s possible.

But eventually, a new thought emerges—quietly, almost imperceptibly at first:

What if I became that person for someone else?

Not out of ego.
Not because you need followers or fans.
But because you realize:

Someone out there is looking for the kind of example you needed.

And maybe, just maybe, you could be the one to hold the light a little longer.

You Are Always Leaving a Trail — Whether You Know It or Not

One of the most humbling things to realize is:

People are already copying you.

Even if you’re not famous.
Even if you feel invisible.
Even if you think you haven’t “made it” yet.

Someone is:

• Watching how you handle hardship

• Noticing how you treat others when no one’s looking

• Absorbing your energy, your attitude, your resilience

You are already a blueprint for someone.
The only question is:

What kind of blueprint are you leaving behind?

Being "Worth Copying" Isn’t About Perfection

It’s tempting to think that becoming someone worth copying means:

• Always having the right answer

• Always doing the right thing

• Always succeeding in everything you touch

But that’s not real life.

The people who change us the most aren’t the ones who never fall.
They’re the ones who fall and rise with honesty, grace, and growth.

They model:

• Vulnerability without collapse

• Strength without arrogance

• Success without forgetting where they came from

Being worth copying isn’t about being flawless.
It’s about being faithful —
to your values,
to your vision,
to the kind of person you’re trying to become.

Even when it’s hard.
Especially when it’s hard.

Choose Your Models — Then Become One

You don’t have to have everything figured out before you start.

You just have to live with enough integrity
and enough courage
that if someone modeled their life after yours,
they would end up stronger, not smaller.

It’s a cycle:

First, you find people to model.
You study their lives.
You copy their disciplines, their mindsets, their standards.

Then, slowly, you grow into someone others naturally model after.

Not by shouting,
“Look at me!”

But by quietly living in a way that says:

“You can come higher, too.”

Being Worth Copying Means Building a Life on Purpose

Most people drift through life copying whatever environment they’re thrown into.

They don’t realize:

• Their habits are copied from their parents

• Their mindset is copied from their friends

• Their expectations are copied from their culture

• Their definition of success is copied from people they don’t even admire

If you don’t choose what you’re copying, you will inherit it by accident.

Becoming someone worth copying demands:

• Choosing your values

• Choosing your mentors

• Choosing your battles

• Choosing your future with intention

It’s slow.
It’s humbling.
It’s often invisible for a long time.

But over time,
you build something so rare,
so genuine,
so resilient —

That when someone else is lost and looking for a path,
they find you.

And when they follow your footsteps,
they don’t lose themselves.

They find themselves.

Final Thoughts: You Were Never Meant to Be a Replica

Here’s the full-circle truth:

We all start by copying.

It’s not shameful.
It’s not weak.
It’s human.

But the goal was never to stay a replica.
The goal was to become real —
to grow from imitation into innovation,
from borrowed dreams into personal destiny.

The right copying doesn’t trap you in someone else’s life.
It equips you to create your own.

So yes, copy.
Copy wisely.
Copy deeply.

And then —

Become the kind of person who someone else can copy…
and not just become a reflection of you,
but a fuller, freer version of themselves.

-FJ Angeles